I’m afraid that I’ve come over all “Bill Oddie” after yesterday, having spent the day on our suburban lines.

A combination of the good weather and slower trains meant that I got to see some of the wildlife that makes it’s home along the verges of the railway. Chief amongst these is the urban fox. Normally I don’t much care for them as I don’t consider them as noble as their rural cousins. Somehow I can’t believe that ransacking people’s bins for leftovers is an honest way to earn a living. However, on this particular day they were at leisure and variously playing with their cubs in the cess or just lounging around sunning themselves (including one particularly bold individual lazing on the platform at Highams Park in the middle of the day).

Unfortunately, the day was not a complete oasis of tranquility, as there were two springs that I evidently weren’t watching closely enough. I was just leaving Liverpool Street when the spring that I thought was pushing the rubber door stop onto the floor decided it needed a break and allowed the cab door to swing in towards me. As it wasn’t something that I’d expected to happen it caught me a little off-guard and, as an impulse, I stuck my hand out to stop it slamming shut on me. However, in doing so I must have momentarily released the DSD allowing the spring to break the circuit. Being as I was driving a Class 315 at the time, it had me in an instant as the brakes jammed on hard. So, there I was stuck like a lemon half in and half out of Liverpool Street station and blocking up all the trains on that side while waiting for the two minute time-out to expire so that I could get the brakes off and be on my way. I felt so embarrassed that I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

All of this was quite enough for one day, so I was glad that I’d already finished by the time that torrential rain hit. It apparently caused a fair bit of chaos because the line flooded at various points. In the meantime, I was having my own problems trying to find a parking space in the shallow end of Tesco’s car park.

Well, it’s been an unusual day for me today. The job I was on today required me to travel as a passenger on almost as many trains as I had to drive. However, the sun was out and I was in a good mood, so everything went swimmingly. Perhaps it was the weather that put everyone in a better mood than normal and made them better disposed towards everyone else, as more people were seen to be smiling and taking the time to stop and talk. I even had a few “thank you’s”.

The first train I worked was what I jokingly call “the school bus”, as it is used heavily by children on their way home from school. They had obviously invented a little game to see who was the bravest and could stay off the train the longest at each stop without getting left behind. They must have had a great deal of practice, as they evidently knew exactly how long the door hustle alarms sound for before the doors themselves start to close. No matter how far they had strayed from the train when I made to close the doors, they always managed to get back on.

Of course, when the weather’s hot we begin to feel the heat. Driving around with the windows open can be tricky, as it makes the cab very noisy. Two trips like that and I realised that the hearing in my left ear had been temporarily deadened. It wasn’t a problem when in the train as I could still hear all the cab systems, but it became noticeable the moment I sat down in a quiet spot for a break (although everything returned to normal within a few minutes). So, it was cab vent only after that. These are generally brilliant when you’re belting along, but they have no filters on them. Consequently anything that gets scooped up from the outside is spat straight into the cab. It is for this reason that they are sometimes referred to as “wasp dispensers”. Wasps weren’t my problem today, but midges were. Each time I swatted one another would appear as if by magic. On the return trip, I made sure I kept everything closed so that at least one cab remained a mozzie-free haven. Thankfully by then the evening was beginning to cool down. Now that’s what I call dispensing the unpleasantries!

I’ve been quite a busy bunny of late. I have now “signed” all the routes with the exception of Cambridge , and have been back out driving again. As promised, I have been enjoying a much more varied workload, with trips out to Stratford , Ilford and Hertford East. I do still get the occasional Airport turn, but it’s no longer my staple work.

Of course, being back in the cab means that I’ve been directly involved with the fun and games that have been going on. By far the most amusing incident involved an emergency speed restriction that has been put in on the ‘Down’ Suburban line at Bethnal Green station. Once Network Rail knew that it was required, it should have been a simple matter of putting out the relevant lineside signs on each line, but oh no. What started off as a single board facing the wrong way on the ‘Down’ Main soon escalated into a farce of huge proportions.

When I called it in to the signaller, he informed me that he’d already been told and that someone was going out to sort it. Sure enough, as I left London I saw a track worker doing the honours. I did feel a little sorry for him as I went by, as he was stranded out in the middle of a six track stretch of line with trains whizzing by on all sides. I don’t suppose that it helped that me on the ‘Down’ Suburban and an Anglia driver on the ‘Down’ Main both whistled him up at exactly the same time while another train approached in the other direction along the ‘Up’ Suburban. For the lack of anywhere better to stand, he just flattened himself against the boards he was adjusting and hoped for the best. Even though he was obscuring them, I wasn’t sure that he hadn’t made matters worse by turning all three boards on that post around. As I passed by the same spot again almost two hours later I could see that this was exactly what had happened, so I called it in for a second time. The signaller was incredulous and sounded not a little pissed off with the news, but I had no idea why. I only learned yesterday that the reason for this was that it had taken six attempts to get these boards facing the right way, and even then this only happened because they sent out a different bloke at the sixth attempt.

That’s not to say that I’ve been above such matters myself. I almost had a stand-up row with the signaller on the Harlow workstation because I had convinced myself that I had the wrong headcode. He was right of course, but I was out of his area before I’d realised my mistake. I blame the 5am start and the similarity between the “6” on my outbound headcode and the “9” on my return trip, so skipped ahead to the headcode of my next working. What a twit…!! I’ve not heard anything more about it, so I presume he had a laugh about it with his colleagues but did nothing more about it.